Amsterdam

I haven’t had a chance to write since it was the end of the semester and then I had to get ready for my trip to Europe. I was in London last week and now I’m in Amsterdam. On Sunday we head to Stockholm. I’m here studying Human Sexuality but of course so much more is going on other than class.

This class consists of 12 female students, our male Graduate Assistant, professor, her daughter and her nephew to watch her daughter while we’re in classes. This all makes for some interesting social dynamics.

I’m not really someone who likes to go out to bars all the time or dance clubs. I’m also not a huge fan of females either. And here I am, stuck with 11 other 20-somethings in small hotel rooms for 3 weeks in foreign countries.

This trip has been so socially exhausting that I can’t handle it and I’m in perpetual bad moods and fall into shallow depressions easily. I don’t feel like I fit in with the group but if I stop trying to be super social, red flags will fly.

I’m currently hanging out in the hallway of my hotel so I’m not accidentally stupid (& it’s one of the few spots I get wifi in). I really wanted to go smoke to help me feel better but I don’t have a lighter and the patio is closed at about 9pm. It’s currently 1145pm.

I don’t feel like I’m in a depressive episode or starting one but I know this obsessive need to drink so I’m not in reality is a sign. I don’t want to talk to my boyfriend about this because he’s back home in the States and is worried enough as it is. I also no longer care about going off and being a tourist because that means dealing with people. I’m stuck in this lose-lose situation for another week.

I joined this class thinking that I’d have so much fun and get to learn about a subject I’m interested in but the fun wore off really fast and now it’s all too much.

In fact, I can hear some of my group below me and it makes me feel worse that I don’t want to see any of them. I don’t want to deal with them but I know that I socially isolate myself and make my social interaction issues worse.

Finals are back again!

Finals… so we meet again..
Can we not?
.. Oh, I still have several semesters yet.
Damn.

Who else feels like that?
It always ends up being such a time of stress for so many people. It’s so important to take some time to relax.. Breathe… Sleep.

Sleep is especially important. You may think that staying up all night is a wonderful idea but it isn’t. Lack of sleep can equate to drunkenness. Would you take your finals drunk? No? Then why take your finals sleep deprived? Sleep deprivation also wont help your memory retention. You’ll remember the information you need better after sleeping on it.

I know that sleeping during finals is hard but try to get some sleep. It will help your memory, help you do better on your finals and reduce your stress. It’s a win-win-win.

So sleep for me please?